Posts Tagged ‘meaning of life’

No! – how cruel.  I stare in disbelief and shout aloud at the heading on my daily reading. I have not slept a wink all night, suffering a strange mix of side effects from my new treatment and an infection. I need sleep – not to be told to “stay awake”.

God, this feels cruel.

I close my hot dry eyes and reflect on the night.

The internet provides connections with others around the world. I explore what they are blogging and find a selection of twenty and thirty-something single young people exploring

what it means to be a woman nowadays, what it means to be a man, and how in God’s name we’re supposed to make it all work.

They engage in a sequence of relationships, or friendships ‘plus benefits’. The women find men immature, selfish and disappointing. I wonder who their God is. They are ranting and they are not happy.  I have listened to the same rantings and unhappiness from my patients for years.

In the global population, they are part of the 7% who have the privilege of secondary education and 14% who have access to the internet.

I watch television: an anthem for doomed youth – a beautifully presented documentary on the life of Vera Brittain.  Her idealism is matched with rage at the limitations of pre-war society. In 1914, at the age of 17 years she was highly privileged, educated and ready to go to Oxford University. She spoke of the young men in her life with love and respect. Within 18 months of the start of the First World War her brother and three of his closest friends had been killed.

In her book, A Testament of Youth, she shares her struggle to make sense of her life. I wonder if it is ever studied in schools.

The passage for my daily reading is Mark 13:32-37 under the heading of  Signs of the End of the Age.

35 Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. 36 If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. 37 What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’

The God of the bible speaks of his plans for relationship with us. He gives clear guidance on values for living and how to ‘make it all work’. And he speaks clearly about the second coming of Jesus. We are advised to keep watch for the Signs of the End of the Age.

In my sleep deprived state I feel a sense of anguish at the rantings of our young adults. Might they one day turn to those of us who call ourselves Christians and say  “Why did you not tell me?”

This has been a significant sleep-deprived night for me.

If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping


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