Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

Yesterday I had my post-radiotherapy check up with the specialist. The treatment went very well.

And I am very well. My hair is growing back and it has a shine again. My nails are almost back to normal. My taste buds and my gut are not.

My physical energy pot is low – a side effect of treatment, but that will fill up again

Round three of my journey brought many blessings – summer days, minimal discomforts, friends and freedom. Not everyone has such an easy passage through radiotherapy.

Thank you for traveling with me.

The end of the line

Here I say goodbye to the 80% of my fellow breast cancer companions whose tumour did not test positive for the HER2 protein. They do not need Herceptin. For many of them, round four takes them out of hospital-based treatment and into living beyond breast cancer. Some, whose tumour is hormone sensitive, will take hormone treatments like Tamoxifen or Arimidex for the next 5 years.

The morning of my check up I had my usual troubled dream that comes when I have to move into an unknown challenge. The end of the line of radiotherapy means the start of the new journey with Herceptin. The meaning of the dream is the same but the storyline varies. This one was about the fear of having to submit myself to the care of clinicians I do not trust.

And yet I will be treated by a team I know and trust – but a fear of the unknown persists.

Today, I am singing ‘The End of the Line’ with the Traveling Wilburys – “Well it’s alright . . . ”

Upbeat and fun.


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How can I know God’s voice?

I often hear people say “God said to me . . “, or “God told me to  . . ” and I am curious to know exactly what happened. What does God’s voice sound like and how do they know it is him speaking?

Is it about voices and words and speaking?

We use the metaphor of hearing his voice. And yet someone’s voice is so much more than the sound that comes out of their mouth.

I know my mother’s voice. We speak on the phone every day and I know it is her before she says anything – I recognise the sound of her breathing in before she speaks. We know each other very well.  There are no secrets and no surprises between us. I know what she likes to talk about, how she phrases things, how she is likely to react to things. I know what is important to her – her values and beliefs. Most of all I know that she loves me.

And she knows me. She knew me before I knew myself. The little girl who would never part with her hand-knitted cardigan has become the woman who hates being cold.

My mother’s voice is everything that she communicates to me. It comes from who she is, her knowledge of me and her heart of love towards me.

Our communication is a two-way thing based on our relationship.

The Bible tells us in many ways about the communication we can have with God and how the Holy Spirit helps us along the way.

Whoever belongs to God hears what God says (John 8:47)

the Counsellor, the Holy Spirit . . will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you (John 14:26)

I came across a list of practical suggestions for hearing from God on Bill Johnson’s website. He says that people often ask him how he receives revelations from God. He says “One of the greatest joys in life is hearing from God. There is no downside. But there is a cost that comes with the impartation.”

His list contains 8 suggestions, many of which are in line with the soul-training I have spoken about.

Much of it is about learning how to hear – and especially how to listen. They are not the same thing.

Listening involves active participation – it looks for the meaning of what is being said without prejudging it.

Have a look at the practical suggestions for hearing from God.  I especially like his comments about sleep, based on Song of Solomon 5:2 “I sleep, but my heart is awake.”

And so, as I look to be led by the Shepherd, I am paying attention to what I know of God’s character  and to what I am hearing and seeing and thinking – day and night.

Do you have experience of hearing God’s voice, day or night, that you can share with me?

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